Toxic Relationship Quiz Results Explained (Sample)

There are times when we all deserve to be criticised for our behaviour, but when you feel that the criticism is unjustified then that leads to hurt, anger, and sadness. When a relationship is full of unjustified criticism then that's a very difficult place to be. You probably need some help to decide if the criticism is justifiable - and if it is - then how to respond. If the criticism is unjustified then your partner will need some help in putting things in perspective.

Sometimes in a relationship one or both parties have fallen into a habit of calling their partner names and swearing at them. Politeness within a relationship is important and you probably feel that it is lacking within yours. This is something that needs to stop if your relationship is going to survive and thrive. It's a major indicator of relationship failure.

During arguments your partner is usually respectful and is rarely critical of your personality or behaviour. Personal criticism is often toxic within a relationship and is associated with higher rates of separation and divorce, so it's important to remain respectful during arguments and disagreements.

It's important that you tell your partner when you feel or think strongly about an issue. Your survey responses indicate that when you argue with your partner you can hold back hurtful words that may come to mind. Maintaining a positive regard for your partner when you're in conflict is a good habit to maintain in your relationship.

It's good that you don't feel that you're hurting one another when you discuss your core issues. There may however be a sense that you're in gridlock - that you're going around and around in circles without reaching any resolution. If this is the case then relationship counselling can help you to explore new behaviours within conflict, and potential new solutions.

This dimension is about whether disagreement stays about a behaviour, or becomes an attack on who you are. Criticism sounds like "you always" and "you never"; contempt adds a sneer - sarcasm, eye-rolling, mockery, or talking as if they are above you. Over time it does not just sting in the moment; it trains you to feel smaller in your own relationship. The useful move is to separate a fair complaint from a character attack, and to notice whether respect is still present when you argue. If the tone is disgust rather than frustration, that is the pattern this score is picking up.

You may have got to the point in your relationship where you don't want to hear many of the things that your partner has got to say. They may bore you with their conversation, they may frustrate you, they may annoy you, or they may enrage you. For whatever reason communication has likely broken down in your relationship and needs refocusing. If your relationship is to survive you need to start engaging with what your partner has to say, however difficult a prospect that may seem to you right now.

Your partner sometimes struggles to see your point of view. Perhaps they behave like they are somehow morally superior to you, or more intelligent than you. You may occasionally become frustrated because you feel that your voice isn't being heard or acknowledged within your relationship. Left unchecked, these frustrations often build into resentment.

Your partner usually understands the way you think and feel. When they talk about you they are usually pretty accurate in describing your thoughts and feelings - they don't misrepresent you.

There are times in a relationship when compromise is required as a lack of compromise in your relationship can lead to gridlock, conflict and eventual separation. You've indicated that you don't feel controlled or manipulated by your partner which suggests that you may have found the right balance of compromise for yourself within your relationship.

Couples sometimes fall into the trap of a habit known as a harsh startup. This is when a discussion quickly turns into an argument because one or other of a couple begins to attack their partner with personal criticism. You've indicated that your partner does not display this bad habit - hopefully you also refrain from personally attacking your partner.

Control is when one person’s preferences quietly become the rules of the house - who you see, what you say, how you spend money or time - until choosing for yourself feels like a risk. Manipulation is the softer version of the same thing: guilt, confusion, shifting goalposts, or "if you loved me you would…" so that you give way without a direct order. It often sounds caring at first and only feels tight later. The constructive step is not to argue every incident; it is to ask whether you can say no without a penalty. A healthy relationship leaves you room to disagree and still belong.

Sometimes your partner vents their anger or frustration by smashing or breaking things. The tension in your home is probably quite high. You and your partner would benefit from understanding the behavioural patterns that are leading to these destructive habits.

You sometimes feel that you have to defend yourself from accusations about things you are alleged to have thought or done. Your partner may be engaging in mind-reading and questioning your motivations.

Your partner is generally truthful and trustworthy within your relationship. This helps to make you think that it's worth working to improve your relationship because your partner is fundamentally a good person.

Although you may sometimes have your disagreements, your partner does not display aggression towards you. Hopefully you have treated your partner with the same level of appreciation. If that's the case then the prospects for your relationship are much improved.

There is always a small element of deceit in even the best of relationships - what are known as white lies. Most people have held back thoughts that they think would hurt their partner unnecessarily. It's a different matter when your partner has lied to you consistently about important issues. You've indicated that there is a low level of deceit within your relationship which is great, because serious secrets and lies within a relationship are usually toxic.

Hostility is more than a loud argument. It is intimidation, mean humour that is not really a joke, threats, or a climate where you brace before you speak. Deception is the other half of the same wound: lies, omissions, secret accounts or messages, and stories that change when you ask a straight question. Together they make the relationship feel unsafe even when no one is shouting. You cannot repair what you cannot name, so the first step is a clear record of what was said versus what turned out to be true - and a hard look at whether honesty and basic safety are still on the table.

When your partner fails to notice the things you do to help support your relationship then first comes sadness, followed eventually by resentment. When your attempts to connect with your partner are ignored or rebuffed then the situation worsens and conflict will inevitably follow. You've probably felt all this in your relationship and it's come to a point where something has to be done. Something has to change.

At the moment you don't feel respected by your partner when you have a disagreement. Respect is a critical factor when you're communicating with your partner. If it's not there then it's likely that arguments will quickly escalate in emotional intensity and get out of control. It may feel like you will both have to climb a mountain to bring respect back into your relationship, but it can be done.

Your partner usually respects your views and boundaries. They have a good idea of what is, and what is not, acceptable within the relationship from your point of view.

Your partner is usually there for you and emotionally available when you need support. This helps you to feel loved and cared about in your relationship.

You often feel a sense of deep emotional connection with your partner which perhaps provides some reassurance that your relationship has a positive future.

Emotional neglect is not always dramatic. It is the slow absence of interest, comfort, and response: conversations that stay logistical, bids for connection that land on silence, affection that never quite arrives. You can live in the same home and still feel alone in the relationship. It sounds like "I'm fine," "not now," or a partner who is present on paper and missing in practice. The useful question is not "do they love me in theory?" but "when I reach, does anyone reach back?" Rebuilding starts with small, consistent turning-toward - and with being honest if that turning-toward is only happening in one direction.