Toxic Relationship Quiz
I've created this toxic relationship quiz to help you spot common red flags in your relationship: harsh criticism; control; hostility; and emotional neglect.
This FREE quiz takes about 3-5 minutes. No email required. You’ll get instant scores across four clear areas. Here's an example of the quiz results.
Jump To Quiz >>Criticism & Contempt:
This dimension is about whether disagreement stays about a behaviour, or becomes an attack on who you are. Criticism sounds like "you always" and "you never"; contempt adds a sneer - sarcasm, eye-rolling, mockery, or talking as if they are above you. Over time it does not just sting in the moment; it trains you to feel smaller in your own relationship. The useful move is to separate a fair complaint from a character attack, and to notice whether respect is still present when you argue. If the tone is disgust rather than frustration, that is the pattern this score is picking up.
Control & Manipulation:
Control is when one person’s preferences quietly become the rules of the house - who you see, what you say, how you spend money or time - until choosing for yourself feels like a risk. Manipulation is the softer version of the same thing: guilt, confusion, shifting goalposts, or "if you loved me you would…" so that you give way without a direct order. It often sounds caring at first and only feels tight later. The constructive step is not to argue every incident; it is to ask whether you can say no without a penalty. A healthy relationship leaves you room to disagree and still belong.
Hostility & Deception:
Hostility is more than a loud argument. It is intimidation, mean humour that is not really a joke, threats, or a climate where you brace before you speak. Deception is the other half of the same wound: lies, omissions, secret accounts or messages, and stories that change when you ask a straight question. Together they make the relationship feel unsafe even when no one is shouting. You cannot repair what you cannot name, so the first step is a clear record of what was said versus what turned out to be true - and a hard look at whether honesty and basic safety are still on the table.
Emotional Neglect:
Emotional neglect is not always dramatic. It is the slow absence of interest, comfort, and response: conversations that stay logistical, bids for connection that land on silence, affection that never quite arrives. You can live in the same home and still feel alone in the relationship. It sounds like "I'm fine," "not now," or a partner who is present on paper and missing in practice. The useful question is not "do they love me in theory?" but "when I reach, does anyone reach back?" Rebuilding starts with small, consistent turning-toward - and with being honest if that turning-toward is only happening in one direction.
The quiz below is an educational self-check, not a clinical diagnosis. Answer honestly about the behaviour in your relationship.
Common Questions About The Quiz
What is a toxic relationship quiz measuring?
This toxic relationship quiz looks at how often common red-flag patterns show up for you: harsh criticism and contempt, feeling controlled or manipulated, hostility or deception, and emotional neglect.
It is a short self-check designed to give you a clearer picture of what feels draining or unsafe - not a personality label or a verdict on your partner.
Is this a diagnosis or clinical assessment?
No. This is an educational self-check, not a clinical diagnosis, medical assessment or formal therapy evaluation. Your scores are a private snapshot based on how you answer today.
If you are in crisis or feel unsafe, contact emergency services (999 in the UK) or a domestic abuse helpline rather than relying on a quiz.
What do the four result areas cover?
Results are grouped into four practical areas:
Criticism & Contempt - harsh put-downs, unfair criticism and hurtful arguing. Control & Manipulation - feeling controlled, attacked or unable to be heard. Hostility & Deception - aggression, threats, lies or misleading behaviour. Emotional Neglect - feeling unsupported, unappreciated or emotionally unmet.
You see plain-English scores for each area after you submit your answers.
Do I need email to see my results?
No. Email is not required to see your toxic relationship quiz scores. Your results appear instantly on screen after you answer all 20 questions.
If a later page offers an optional email copy or client account, that is always your choice.
How long does the toxic relationship quiz take?
Most people finish in about 3-5 minutes. There are 20 short questions and your scores appear immediately on the results page.
This toxic relationship quiz is a short, focused look at red-flag patterns (criticism and contempt, control, hostility and deception, emotional neglect).
The free Relationship Health Check is a longer clinical-style overview across more areas of relationship health.
Use this quiz for a fast red-flags snapshot; use the Health Check when you want the fuller picture. You may also find the Four Horsemen Relationship Quiz useful for communication-pattern focus.
What if I feel unsafe or threatened?
If you are in immediate danger in the UK, call 999.
You could also search for 'local domestic abuse services' to find suitable local service providers.
This quiz is not a substitute for emergency help or specialist support.
Where can I see a sample of the results?
You can preview how scores and notes are presented on the toxic relationship quiz results explained page - without taking the quiz first.
About the quiz creator
Rhys Lewis MSc PgDip, is the founder of The Relationship Clinic Wales and a professionally qualified couples therapist.
He is the author of 300 Ways To Improve Your Relationship and Infidelity: A Survival Guide.
Rhys also reviews relationship advice books. You can find his list of best relationship advice books for 2026 here.
Connect with Rhys: